It occurred to me during this week of Papal funeral-mania to write about an hilarious though mediocre porn site we reviewed last year called “Priests and Prostitues”, which featued a series of videos in which naive priests are seduced by the very whores they set out to save. Sadly, this site disappeared before we even posted the review and with it gone, and so little papal porn on our radar, we turned to our favorite porn search engine, Booble, and then, in deperation, our second favorite porn search engine, Google, trying various combinations like “Priest Porn”, “Naked Nuns”, “Papal Penis”, “Clergy Cocks”, and much more, the results of which we’ll share with you in a moment.

Our journey almost immediately led to the sad story of Jeff Koyen, (former) editor from a supposedly “liberal” alt-weekly New York Press who was ex-communicated, so to speak, for trying to get a jump on dead Pope mania. Koyen quit rather than submit to a two-week suspension for publishing “52 Funniest Things About the Upcoming Death of the Pope”, a cover story which drew heated denunciations from the likes of Sen. Chuck Schumer (“The most disgusting thing I’ve seen in 30 years of public life”) .and a Mayor Michael Bloomberg (”As disgusting as this is, it’s sadly par for the course for this publication”). In a letter published on Gawker, Koyen blasted his publisher and owner for not standing up to the criticism. I would here like to blast Koyen for this astonishingly un-funny list. Maybe that’s the real reason you were fired, dude.

Fortunately, Sir Rodney is his own publisher so we’re going to talk about the pope’s porno until the most holy of the holy rollers are sporting wood. Look at this article, from Catholics for Choice, which describes the virtual sexual slavery of nuns by priests in Africa and the Vatican cover up. Sir Rodney does not make this shit up. We just report what we see. The Pope and his priests are so horny they’ll put their peckers anywhere. If you took a vow of celebacy, wouldn’t you be? Maybe they think of cheating on God the same way you think of cheating on your wife.

Here’s a cool blog that came up, RubberNun.net, the online hangout of a delightful young lady from Chicago that has nothing whatsoever to do with porn but does feature lots of amusing nun links (someone went to Parochial school). The young author foolishly tags her home page “a little song, a little dance, a little sister down your pants”. Oh, honey. Between that site name and your page tag, you are attracting the wrong kind of surfer. We’ve got something in our pants you don’t want to see and we are looking for something your liberal blog will never give us.

The only bona fide naked nun site we found was Eroticnuns.com, whose murky origin and ownership eluded this reporter. What did not elude us were delightful softcore images of naked nuns. The one reprinted here even appears to be the real deal.

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