Agency seeks born again wing nuts with a taste for the rough stuff…

“It’s easy to be a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you,” suggested humorist Will Rodgers, and nowhere is this more apparent than the Bush Administration’s recent re-emphasis on the prosecution of “manufacturers and purveyors” of pornography — not the kind of porn that exploits children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

Mischievous commentary began propagating around the water coolers at FBI offices when the bureau sent an internal memo seeking applicants for the new DC based porn task force. “I guess this means we’ve won the war on terror,” said one exasperated FBI agent. “Honestly, most of the guys would have to recuse themselves,” said another.

“Based on a review of past successful cases in a variety of jurisdictions,” the memo said, the best odds of conviction come with pornography that “includes bestiality, urination, defecation, as well as sadistic and masochistic behavior.” Clearly applicants must have a taste for these oh-so-nasty variations. No word on the universe of other kinks that helps make porn a multibillion-dollar industry.

Popular acceptance of hard-core pornography has come a long way in the past two decades. American retail consumption of porn is dominated by its largest corporations, including General Motors Corp. and Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp. (the two major owners of DirecTV), Time Warner Inc. and the Sheraton, Hilton, Marriott and Hyatt hotel chains.

An FBI spokeswoman expressed disappointment that some of her colleagues find grist for humor in the new campaign. “The adult obscenity squad . . . stems from an attorney general mandate, funded by Congress,” she said. “The personnel assigned to this initiative take the responsibility of this assignment very seriously and are dedicated to the success of this program.”

Any agent who signs up for this futile witch hunt needs to be a born-again perv looking for far right street cred. The Internet is international in nature, and defies all attempts at censorship, period. The best the feds can accomplish is to drive American adult producers and Internet distributors (so called “secondary producers”) underground, or overseas, along with jobs and tax revenues.

Read more in today’s Washington Post and at Adult Video News.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 21st, 2005 at 12:35 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.