This crazy rant was sent to us by a webmaster whose site, GradeAGirl.com, we recently panned (in the nicest possible way, of course). His email rambles all over the place. I’m not sure why; maybe he’s trying to thank us or apologize for his site, or something. Anyway, we found this incredibly amusing; it also provides a great webmaster/producer perspective on the dubious art of making amatuer porn. We should mention this guy also stars in a lot of the action, so clearly he is one of those webmasters who is also in it for the pussy, even if his site barely makes a dime.

“Christmas is over and so begins another year. If Nostradamus was correct, this is supposedly the last year we have before the end of the world. What exactly is the end of the world, you say? I’ll tell you. It’s a world where any crappy amateur porn is allowed to exist on the internet. There is hardly any quality control for adult websites and this, quite frankly, bothers me. In the mid- to late 90’s, you had The Wetlands and a handful of other sites that offered genuine swingers and amatuers fucking for our amusement for a nominal fee. Nowadays, you have over one million so-called amateur sites with the same girls we’ve seen on any one of 50 other sites. Why is this bad? Because it waters down the experience of watching first-time teens getting nailed on film. Since most people start a porn site for fun, they will continue to support it whether it makes money or not - but just like most “jobs,” if you’re not getting paid enough, you simply don’t work hard at it. This results in thousands of sites that still cost $20 to join but haven’t been updated or otherwise improved in months or even years. Result: a pissed off surfer who is too embarrassed to even write a simple email of complaint.

“When I started my site 5 years ago (GradeAgirl.com), I would honestly get a hotel room near The Block (in Baltimore) and canvass the 20 or so nudie bars and get a couple ho’s to come back and fuck. I can tell you for a fact that none of these girls had ever done porn before and I would guess that none of them did it again.

“Why? Because they were ‘noobs.’ Noobs are easy to spot, as they are obviously nervous and the reason they are stripping is that they are desperate for cash. The average stripper makes about $100 a night at one of these bars in a 10-hour shift. You buy the girl a $20 drink to sit on your lap, and she gets $4. You buy her a $100 drink for a handjob, she gets $20. No joke. The nice thing about a noob is that she is unfamiliar with the sex industry and stripping was the only easy thing she could think of to make some quick cash. Only once she gets a feel for it in this environment does she see that fucking for money isn’t so bad. I’ve literally had girls ‘quit’ dancing to come back for one night of fucking and $500. In some cases, the girl did not strip again because all she needed was enough to fix her car or get an abortion or some shit like that, after which she goes back to waiting tables at Hooters. You’re wondering - do girls only fuck for money - no - but to get them to do it on camera and sign a release - it’s almost always a must. Even if you’re a really good-looking guy or whatever, the hoes wanna get paid - so all the sites where they “hustle” a girl back to their pad are total BS.

“I never bothered to film the hustle for a reality movie, ’cause no one wants to see a bunch of fake-ass crap. I’ve personally hunted more milfs than those bang bros fucks - so fuck them. I really did hook up at the gym, the grocery store, and the tanning salon - but if I had pulled out a camera and a model release - they would have told me to fuck off. I had some old lady in my office, riding my big cock, while her husband waited in the god damn car thinking she was interviewing for a receptionist job. Fuck that shit Steve! In short, I gave a shit about putting real amateur porn out there, but if no one is going to pay $10 or $20 to see it - then fuck it. I’m not going to cry about it; I’m just going to keep hustlin’ and if someone wants to watch - let ‘em.

“Lastly, here in the 21st Century. The only quality control available to us are review sites like Sir Rodney. Rodney and the others will tell you that even if sites like mine are so-so, it’s worth the few dollars to see girls you’ve never seen before. The moral of this story: Don’t pay one nickel until you read a review and, we hope, this will make others rise to the occasion.”

Thanks for the email, dude, and keep those crazy rants coming. Oh, and we’d be remiss if we didn’t also remind you to bring that condom. You never can be too careful with the kind of talent you’re picking up.

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