Jay Sin’s Gape Lovers

June 27th, 2008

gape Lovers

There is a certain virtue in simplicity when it comes to the naming of porn movies. Particularly if we assume honesty on the part of the producers. Every week there are dozens of new movies on the site, many of which are proof of the old adage that you can’t judge a book by its cover. Seriously, you can’t tell at all what the hell might be in them, except that it is almost certainly porn. However, once in a while, a title like Jay Sin’s Gape Lovers comes along, and the clouds clear for a little while. Gape Lovers is a movie about women who get on their hands and knees and open up their assholes so you can see deep inside their bowels, and the men and women who love them. The ones who gape and the ones who help them gape — they are all Gape Lovers. What could be clearer? Presumably Jay Sin is a Gape Lover too, because he films and directs the process and all the details with loving attention.

Gape Lovers is full of women being penetrated with fingers, tongues, vegetables, penises and toys — mostly in the ass, but sometimes in the pussy. It is a movie filled with upturned butts, things shooting out of them when squeezed, and the little farty noises that attend on such activities. It is a movie loaded with hot girls, including the delightfully filthy Aurora Snow — whose innocent appearance, even after all these years, is a delicious contrast to the depraved things she is ready and willing to do — as well as Liv Wylder, who looks like Ashley Blue only dirtier (I am aware that it is not possible to be dirtier than Ashley Blue; I am just saying that she looks dirtier) and the appealingly awkward Dana DeArmond. All of these girls and more bend over to show you their innermost feelings.

Liv Wylder and Heather Gables (formerly and briefly Paris Gables, back before everyone was sick of girls named Paris) start out in a garden together, wearing a pair of little Daisy Duke-ish outfits — short shorts, rainbow suspenders and cowboy boots and hats. Liv whips Paris’ ass lightly and playfully with a length of rope while Paris grinds her pussy on a watermelon. As it turns out, the watermelon is the only thing in the garden that doesn’t end up in one or the other of their assholes — she takes a number of vegetables, including a Japanese yam, a yellow squash, three carrots, a couple of cucumbers of increasing size, and something that I am informed “looks sort of auberginey, or possibly an udaki ” (although the watermelon never goes inside anybody, it does get broken up and its internals slopped over Liv’s pussy and used as a kind of lube for the thing that might be auberginey or an udaki).

Delilah Strong and Marsha Lord take a more toy-oriented approach in their journey of sexual discovery, using anal plugs and a sexy maid outfit to create sexual tension. Delilah, a tall, tattooed honey, puts her dominant female hat on — not hard when Marsha is just sitting there in her maid outfit and a ball-gag waiting to be dominated. Spanking, ass-tonguing and butt-plugging ensue until a nameless fellow brings his penis to the table, and the two girls take turns giving blow jobs and playing with it. Until he takes over and fucks both of them in the ass (consecutive anal, not concurrent anal). Delilah and Marsha each take turns opening up the other’s holes to give him a bigger target and to give you a good look into the mysteries before he pops on their faces.

Aurora Snow, still looking like jailbait after all these years, has Cindy Crawford on a leash, and neither of them is interested in waiting around for romance. Although Aurora is at least nominally the dome, the leash doesn’t much matter — both of them are aggressive and dirty, and they pry each other open, smack each other’s jiggling flesh, and generally lick, finger and suck each other with abandon. They pound each other’s assholes with a couple of big toys and get off handily. No guy comes along to intrude, and they don’t need one — these two girls have all they need without some clown’s dick intruding.

Internet princess Dana DeArmond, looking comically elegant in plenty of makeup and a Darla Crane-style hairdo complete with bangs, wets herself down in a backyard pool, rendering her sheer white minidress clingy and transparent. She rubs herself through her panties and exposes her holes to the camera before giving the wet t-shirt treatment to Holly Wellin, who’s also out by the pool. The two make out and display each other for the camera before heading inside for some toy play with a glass buttplug with handle and gaping until a visit from a man with a penis switches things up. The new guy helps them gape, admires their apertures, and plugs them all before laying a facial on Holly while Dana’s asshole talks about its day nearby, and the two girls make out some more and share the load.

To round out the DVD, Bobbi Starr “stops by for a little tease” (according to the caption). Bobbi’s a tall girl with a great ass, which she displays and puts through its paces. This truly is a tease — she spreads her cheeks and flexes her ring, but there’s not a lot of real gaping, and after three minutes of teasing, another caption informs us thjat we can see more of Bobbi in Gape Lovers 2 — presumably, hopefully like Bobbi herself, cumming soon.

Gaping really isn’t my thing. Aesthetically speaking, I’m a lot more interested in the outside of a woman’s holes than the inside. I do want to know what’s going on inside a woman, but only in a spiritual sense. However, the rest of the action in Gape Lovers is interesting enough and hot enough that I’m not put off by any of the gaping meatholes, which are as tasteful as such things can be. I enjoyed Gape Lovers — if you’re a gape fan, you should love it.